Remember what I said, remember what I did not

As much as I remember what you had said, I remember what you had not.
Believe me, I remember.
For if you go by the wet paper under my hand,
Do not go by the empty glass sitting by
Go by the emptiness of my eyes
And go by the moisture of my otherwise dry face
This is not to tell that you’ve mostly gone wrong,
At all the times, at all the moments
But isn’t it that you notice what’s around
Always casual about what you see
And always connecting science
And not picking the signs
Noticing what’s around
Remember what I said, remember what I did not
That’s all that matters,
Believe me, I’ve tried that on you.

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That hand

It was a bit of courtesy and a bit of fear
Fear of society and perhaps its own conscience
That led it here to wipe my tears
It’s pretty dark now and no one will see
That the hand is gone and tears all over
It does not destroy
It does not kill
It just wins peace over peace
And it’s not to be threatened of the state of devastation
Because it’s needed there the most
In the society of horses
Horses stood quiet
In the society of sparrows
Sparrows chirped
In the society of dove
Dove loved
In the society of men
Men lashed out
Not knowing that the birds, horses ran away
Soon came trouble
Soon I lost
In the society of men
That doesn’t care
Sipping beer under the crown
Of life colours and dead thoughts
That smell of what not

Untitled notes of art

Somebody who makes art can be broken and lonely. But that somebody isn’t deprived of love. He is full of love. Love for nature, existence, objects, pain, innocence, humanity and every tiniest gesture and texture that can be found around him. For him, learning and understanding and improvement of character matters more than winning over someone or some challenge. There is childishness and immaturity in his personality but he is constantly at a fight with his own self, trying to live with his incompatible and insane other self. He likes to invest in art, education, books and feelings and trusts in the idea of branding to pick trustworthy education and not risk it but he seeks the same everywhere, every corner of nature.
His work can show greatness or pettiness but he is never satisfied with it and seeks constant approval and acceptance from self and those who have created greatness, and love from approvers. His love keeps growing for art and there’s a time when this outshines love for beings. He is a human and a construct of love and so he will choose humanity before art at times when it is required. He seeks an epitome of perfect character and humanity around but may or may not end up finding it. He likes to be kind but he will do without kindness from others if his work of art is kind to him. He doesn’t need love, kindness, understanding and care from others though he might want it at times.

A good time and sweet heart

That sugary silence of unsurmountable truth
That cold air of an unachieved dream
Gives me thrills
Of another faith in resolution
Of a good heart rather than
A good time
A heart that stands the test of evil
A heart that learns to pick evil from good
And if one needs a good time so much
Have this place of yours that is
If you make it
For there have been a number of us
Who tried and failed
Tried and failed
For they tried for good time
Not a good heart
A good friend, a good deed, a fair gesture of selflessness
A good brand of education and books
Not clothes or other frivolities
A good sign of human in the evil of shamin one another
An applause for a sweet heart
Not your sweetheart, not what is yours but what is ours

With or without

It was the age of shining attention and people were growing well. They had ups and downs but they were pretty cool. I, too, was. I made one friend a few years ago and gradually realised that that one was best of all, best of all human beings and best of all friends. Because that one friend was not just a hangout partner. That friend improved me becoming a better human with time, and time and again. That friend never let me down on my faith in the faith and bond of friendship and the purpose of it. Perhaps, the sheer reason of this friend becoming the best human of all is that she has guided me rather than shaming me or venturing into a revenge. Such a friendship is hard to be formed with any other person I already have around me because of the person itself.
With time the distance between me and this friend grew in terms of frequency of contacts but there has not been much change between our camaraderie. However, during this phase of absence of this person from my life in whatever manner, my flaws have reverted. My tendencies to take revenge and send shame for shame has shown up without warning. This friend’s absence has also led me into a zone of loneliness where one doesn’t find anybody worth sharing a private moment or pain with. Time and again, I have found her around and sometimes not, I have sought solutions and ways to approach a problem and ways to eradicate problematic elements from my life but it’s been a hard journey, a flawed one, one that has not moved ahead, one that proves my inability to cope without her.
Her absence has thrown me into bleak of my mental capabilities. Both of us are doing well. She has at least taught me how to identify my flaws. And I still look up to the time she mentored me when I have to identify and find a solution to my flaws. Once you have tasted such a class in personality and humanity, you can’t force yourself to have the same reverence for another one. I always turn up to the reverence I have for her and not the fabricated and frivolity of others who mock at it.

The pool of winterstate

Quitting the pool of winterstate
Where the flowers hang high
And the roots cannot be seen
But, in this moment, before quitting
The pool
Allow me a glimpse
Of your simmering beauty
Because in another day
Or maybe two
I’m quitting
This time I won’t look back
I’ve locked a lot inside
Before quitting the pool of winterstate
You’re thunderous, and you’re wow
Your moves are a dance and your lovely eyes
Fixed on the one who watches,
Fixed right now on me
Those liquid eyes, and thunderous, stirring smiles
One glimpse is what I can’t resist
Before quitting the pool of winterstate