With or without

It was the age of shining attention and people were growing well. They had ups and downs but they were pretty cool. I, too, was. I made one friend a few years ago and gradually realised that that one was best of all, best of all human beings and best of all friends. Because that one friend was not just a hangout partner. That friend improved me becoming a better human with time, and time and again. That friend never let me down on my faith in the faith and bond of friendship and the purpose of it. Perhaps, the sheer reason of this friend becoming the best human of all is that she has guided me rather than shaming me or venturing into a revenge. Such a friendship is hard to be formed with any other person I already have around me because of the person itself.
With time the distance between me and this friend grew in terms of frequency of contacts but there has not been much change between our camaraderie. However, during this phase of absence of this person from my life in whatever manner, my flaws have reverted. My tendencies to take revenge and send shame for shame has shown up without warning. This friend’s absence has also led me into a zone of loneliness where one doesn’t find anybody worth sharing a private moment or pain with. Time and again, I have found her around and sometimes not, I have sought solutions and ways to approach a problem and ways to eradicate problematic elements from my life but it’s been a hard journey, a flawed one, one that has not moved ahead, one that proves my inability to cope without her.
Her absence has thrown me into bleak of my mental capabilities. Both of us are doing well. She has at least taught me how to identify my flaws. And I still look up to the time she mentored me when I have to identify and find a solution to my flaws. Once you have tasted such a class in personality and humanity, you can’t force yourself to have the same reverence for another one. I always turn up to the reverence I have for her and not the fabricated and frivolity of others who mock at it.


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